Think Piece: Political Impartiality
I have recently realised I begin many of my articles and weekly school newsletters with, ‘As I sit here’. It is easy to understand the reason for this is as writing is an instrument that helps you to contemplate, reflect and then communicate within the written word these contemplations and reflections. I do not claim wisdom such as that of Marcus Aurelius (b AD121) or indeed the craft of the storyteller such as Hilary Mantel (Wolf Hall,2009) What I do bring to the table or in this case this blog, are my personal musings and anecdotes, peppered with reports of our wonderful community. So, do indulge me by letting me begin again.
As I sit here, on the afternoon of 12th April during the school Easter break, reading an excellent book by Robin Alexander entitled ‘Education in spite of policy’, with The Archers on Radio 4 in the background, the notifications on my Twitter feed goes wild with tweets that both Boris Johnson and Rishi Sunak have been found guilty of breaking the law and will be fined the sum of £50 eachfor attending parties during strict lockdown. This is not really news as many of us knew that, even with weak attempts at deflection and ‘fudging’ the truth, many of our leaders acted with contempt when they broke lawstin which they held the public to account for. Why is this news important to someone who leads a school? How does this impact on education and educational outcomes? How is this important to the international response to the global crisis let alone the war in Ukraine? Again, indulge me as I explain.
On 17th February of this year, the Department for Education issued all schools with guidance on political impartiality and the requirement to remain apolitical in their stance and in delivering the curriculum. The Education Secretary went out of his way to advise schools that they must not criticise government or government policies especially in the classroom. In the whole, I agree that schools must be balanced in their approach to politics both national and international, as should be the case for all subjects in the curriculum, a good example being History. It is just, and right, that facts are researched and tested fairly for accuracy. It is also fair that as many perspectives, and sides are listened to as history is the narrative of many, and not just one group of people or community. I also agree that schools must not seek to indoctrinate pupils, and work towards developing pupils’ critical thinking and the pursuit of knowledge and truth.
The flaw in such guidance, and in our response to it, is that the news of today will be the history of tomorrow. How will history thus narrate the politics of Britain today? How will the leadership of a group of men and women be judged through the lens of time, and most importantly, what will be said about the choices we make today and the choices we make for our children. This is not about influencing our children, but it is about giving our children examples of leadership so that may base their own future leadership on. I believe this trumps party politics, and this not ‘woke’ or any such derogatory descriptions that at times education and educators have been labelled with. This is about the pursuit of what the UN mission’s pursuit of ‘inclusive and equitable quality education’ for all children and this can only happen when we are not distracted by leaders who damage the trust they hold in their public office.
No man is an island, and no leader is invincible. Mistakes and human errors are made to enable us to learn and grow. This is part of the evolutionary process, and this is what we teach our children at school. Learn from your mistakes, and do better next time, every time. However, the news that Boris Johnson and members of his cabinet, and party, flaunted rules, are no mistake. These acts cannot be forgiven or forgotten, and thus the fines that have been meted out as these acts have been judged to have broken the law. In PSHE (Personal, Social, Health and Economic) and Citizenship, schools (including ours) seek to teach our children social and democratic values, and the need to be part of a social justice system that is enshrined in equality and the rule of law. Schools do not make the law, but we abide by the law, and will be educating the law makers and politicians of the future. We seek to equip them with knowledge, skills but above all, the values that will guide them to improve a future, not just for themselves, but also for all.
I have no answer to the global and national political, and indeed economic crises that face us now. I watch in horror at more news about the war in Ukraine, the conflicts across the globe and the irreversible impact of climate change. I shudder to think of what the next major crisis could be; whatever it is, it will not be far off our doorstep. However, I live in hope as Desmond Tutu, in his stance for justice said, ‘Hope is being able to see there is light despite all of the darkness.’
Hope is in the hands of every child we lead into the classroom and school hall. Hope exists in the laughter and tears of a playground scene. Hope lies at the start and end of each school day when we wave our children goodbye at classroom doors and school gates. Even when our current politicians let us down, we must continue to believe that our children will carry on upholding the values we all hold dear.
We are hiring! Executive Assistant post
We are looking for a values driven individual to work with us to support our incredible HeadsUp4HTs community!
The HeadsUp4HTs community is led by James Pope and Kate Smith, two former Headteachers, with a mission to ensure ALL Headteachers are given the support to be the leaders they set out to be!
HeadsUp4HTs is part of InspirEducate, and is a network of Headteachers and school leaders supporting and lifting each other up. We champion the profession and provide several layers of support to our community, including coaching packages, Local Authority support and peer support spaces, all with an intentional wellbeing focus.
As the network grows, we are looking for a values aligned individual to support us with;
Managing our busy diaries
Community communication
Network engagement
The role is ideal for someone with executive administration or personal administration experience. Ideally, this is someone who already works in the education sector. You’ll need to be Google Drive and social media savvy and a working knowledge of MailChimp and Canva would be desirable, but not essential.
The role will be virtual, flexible and for a fixed term, whilst we navigate our community in a new direction.
Initially, we anticipate the role to be between 10-20 hours per week on an hourly rate to be negotiated.
We aim to nurture a working relationship that values and respects each other’s differences, that promotes authenticity, equality, diversity, and that supports individuals to develop bring their best selves to their role.
If you are interested in working with us, then please email support@headsup4hts.co.uk and book in a chat with Kate. In the meantime, take a look around our website to get a feel for who we are and what we do.
Think Piece: Peer Coaching Support
Our Peer Coaching sessions are an integral way that we support our network.
In essence, these are safe spaces, or coaching circles, which are completely confidential and judgement free. We carve out time to come together with other like minded and values based leaders to share our authentic selves, our challenges and our triumphs.
‘We all had a chance to speak. As usual, I felt nervous about sharing a part of myself with others, but James and the other Heads had put my mind at ease with their reassuring nods, smiles and championing chatter in the chat function. Within the first session I felt part of an extraordinary community.’
The support sessions recognise that Headship and school leadership can often be isolating. We aim to bring people together, to help them to make connections and allow them to share their own experiences of leadership. In doing so, we resonate, lift each other up and grow stronger knowing that it’s safe to share and that there’s always someone who has been through a similar experience or someone who can offer advice and support.
One member share their experience of joining the support session here
‘Each week my cup is refilled as I meet with people like me. Heads who sometimes struggle, Heads who are finding it tough, Heads who are courageous in their pursuit of a better education, for their own communities and beyond. Within this group, I have a voice. I am valued and listened to. I am supported and I don’t have to wear a mask.’
There are Headteachers and school leaders from all different backgrounds, schools and all with various levels of experience. Everyone is welcome.
We frame each session by reminding ourselves why we are there, and reassuring everyone that they are in safe hands. We often focus on a a question and sometimes it’s as simple as ‘How are you? No really, how are you?’ This gets everyone thinking and gives us an opportunity to truly reflect, without the fear of judgement or of a toxic accountability system looming over. We keep the sessions in a light and celebratory space, often championing, celebrating and cheering on those in the group. That said, we also rally round when someone is experiencing a difficult time.
The sessions are really fun and informal, some Headteachers pop in from time to time and others attend every week, keeping their own wellbeing bucket full. We always say ‘come when it serves you to do so’. We are here, each week, ready to hold you in that space.
In each session, our members' voices are all welcome; you can contribute, listen, drink coffee, and share your stories. Guaranteed, you will leave feeling part of a dedicated and values-based network.
Think Piece: Boundaries
Boundaries are personal limits that we set around ourselves, the responsibility of enforcing that boundary will fall on us. Boundaries keep us aligned with our core values and our own personal choices around the way we choose to live our lives and conduct ourselves both personally and professionally.
Boundaries help to keep you safe, in control and can empower you to make healthy choices and take personal responsibility.
Consciously appreciating your own personal and professional boundaries can help to support your wellbeing, physically and mentally, from day one. Setting boundaries requires a deep understanding of your personal and professional needs and expectations; knowing what serves you well in order that you can thrive in the role.
Ask yourself:
What are your boundaries when it comes to professional relationships?
To workload?
In responding to the expectations of the professionals that you work with?
In ensuring that your personal life has value equal to (minimum!) or above that of your professional life?
Essentially, setting yourself boundaries is a way of actively respecting your own wellbeing and keeping you safe, so get familiar with them and bring them to life. Consider how you will articulate these to those you work with, and your family and friends too and how you’ll hold yourself accountable.
It’s important to remember that boundaries can change too, so it’s important to revisit them and make adjustments to ensure they serve you. You can never ‘over’ communicate your boundaries to others either, clear and consistent communication is key.
OFSTED Experiences: Impact upon SLT can’t be underestimated
Ofsted, an acronym that will strike fear into even the most hardened of staff. We knew the call was coming, like so many other schools, it had been coming for over two years and casting our eyes towards the impending visit was the focus of many, many SLT discussions. We gathered as much information as we could about what the visit would look like and what would happen over the two days. We prepared and then prepared some more. Then one of our schools within our small trust received the call within the first few weeks of the Autumn term. We listened and reflected upon their experience and threw in a touch more preparation for good measure. The visit crept ever closer. A month or so later and another school in our trust received the call. Closer still it came. Then, at the beginning of November, it was our turn. This is our experience.
I count myself very lucky to be the deputy headteacher of a large, two form entry primary school in the North-West of England. Our school is a diverse community school with provision from 3-11. We serve a disadvantaged area and have 50% pupil premium. Our EAL numbers are similar, with over 30 languages spoken by our school population. I have been at the school for 4 years and was successfully promoted to DHT from AHT in February 2021. It had been a while since I experienced an Ofsted inspection and I had certainly never taken in part in one as a member of SLT. Unchartered territory indeed.
When the initial call came, our HT was not on site. Completely normal, as he works across two schools but afterwards, I was told the colour completely drained out of my face when the call was put through! Nerves kicked in but so did all the preparation we had done. I knew what this call would entail as well as the following one. I wrote down everything we needed to know and arranged the time for the longer call. An hour or so later the call from the inspector came and we had composed ourselves as an SLT to begin the process of painting the picture of our school. The phone call, which we were worried about, turned out to not be the experience we expected. The Ofsted inspector gave us snippets of information about himself and we were quick to identify that he had garnered a lot of information about us already from the website. We were very happy that the recent hard work we had put into the school website had paid off! Heallowed us to select the subjects we wanted deep dives into and allowed the conversation to move in the way we wanted it to. We were able to begin showcasing all the things that make our school the amazing place that it is but also acknowledge that we knew exactly where we were heading and what we continued to work on.
The rest of that grey Monday passed uneventfully as we rallied round our staff, tidied up, perfected the Ofsted folderand of course got the fancy biscuits out! The school displays were refined by our committed staff, planning was polished off and at 8pm we exited the school building nerves janglingbut the shared determination to make the most of our moment ran through our veins. The morning of the first day staff were in school early but the importance of supporting everyone was high on my agenda. Conversations to check in, guide and reassure took place and at 8am we were ready.
The experience over the two days was a positive one. There were, of course, moments where the nerves surfaced. Our history lead, being new to the role, was nervous about the deep dive into their subject. Our curriculum lead AHT successfully supported them through it and they came out of the afternoon positive and fired up for where they would take their subject next. Our Maths lead was much the same, new to role and nervous about the deep dive. However, once again, it was a positive and successful experience which showcased all their hard work with our Maths curriculum.
Our notoriously hard to engage parents reflected us positively (well, mostly positively!) on the parent view survey and we were overjoyed to hear that all staff had reported back that they were proud to be members of our school community. Our children shone throughout the two days, with honesty, enthusiasm, and positivity for our school. They acknowledged that bullying does happen as our school but also that staff deal with it well. They talked about their love of reading and happily shared books with the inspector. In every sense of the word, they were wonderful.
The inspection was a hard two days, but it was also hugely positive. The check ins with the HT reassured us we were on a strong path but the nagging doubt never really left us until we received the final feedback. Leaders at all levels were identified as outward facing with a focus on learning from evidence and research. Our hard work to celebrate the diversity and individuality of our school was recognised and our staff training and development offer was praised. It is important to note that the inspector gave us time to showcase the areas we wanted to and it was clear he had taken time to read the documents we had left out for him to look through. It very much felt like a very fair process- he listened to everything we had to say.
The impact upon our SLT cannot be underestimated. To have our hard work on, what had been key areas for us,acknowledged was hugely gratifying and a sense of success was most definitely felt. We were very honest with the inspector and made it clear from the very beginning what our strengths and weaknesses were. We acknowledged that we knew our curriculum was not embedded completely and when this was our area for improvement, it was no shock. In fact, we were keen to take his feedback and run with it. When the final report came through and the success shared with the school community it was clear that the nerves had been worth it.
Our Ofsted our experience was not the fearsome event that others have endured. Understandably, this does raise concerns over the consistency of inspections, but I also do not want to play down the challenge of the two days. They were hard and upon reflection our collective SLT synopsis is that we are glad we won’t have another visit on our hands anytime soon! They were long, very busy days with a certain level of worry regarding the outcome hanging over our heads. Our school was well prepared for the inspection but so was our mindset. We were open to the experience, open to feedback and open to the inspector coming into our school to judge us. This helped the experience to be a success. The culture of our school is one of openness and community. We work together to drive our school forward, for the better, for every staff member inour school and ultimately the children we serve.
Debbie Christiansen
@MissC_DHT
OFSTED Experiences: Approachable but thorough
I am writing this to support any other headteachers who may be waiting for the OFSTED call!
I have been headteacher at my school for 7 years and joined initially as acting head. We had our first inspection a couple of months after joining and were put into Requires Improvement. We worked hard, and 2 years later were OFSTEDed again and regained our Good judgement. That was 5 years ago and we were expecting OFSTED anytime from last April, so had a long wait! Obviously lockdown slowed down their progress in catching up with inspections.
We had been expecting “The Call” in Summer term, but they didn’t call until September. I had Covid and was in my last 2 days of isolation when the call came. I asked if they could call me at home, which they did. I tried to defer until I was back in school, but they said that a headteacher being ill was not a reason for deferral, as the school is open, so they were coming in. I therefore called my leadership team and let them know that OFSTED were coming in. We then did a Teams meeting call with the lead inspector, myself and my assistant heads. The lead inspector was sympathetic that I would not be there and was flexible to allow me to join meetings from home. We agreed a timetable for the first day, with times for online meetings and also what they were going to be doing in school. We talked about deep dives and agreed on reading, maths, geography and history. These would all take place on day one with the format being meeting with curriculum leader, seeing the subject in class being taught, looking in books and speaking with the children. These all needed to tie together - what the subject leader said, relating to how this was taught in class, speaking with the classteacher about their subject knowledge, then seeing outcomes in books and then speaking to the children about what they could remember about the subject, what they had done before and what they liked/disliked.
The inspector had a brief outline and we then made sure that the timetable was more detailed – including where each of the inspectors would be, where they were based, who they were seeing, with timings. This meant that we knew where they would all be at any time. They were pleased to have this on their arrival on the first day as it was clear. They offered to introduce themselves to the staff first thing, which they did, and the staff were very welcoming and smiley! This made a good first impression.
The inspectors kept asking about staff well-being during the inspection and each meeting they had with a member of the senior team, they asked again. They were approachable but also very thorough!
It soon became clear that our Year 3 children and reading were a focus for them and phonics. The children coming into Year 3 had missed a large amount of their phonics due to lockdowns and we did not have a synthetic phonics programme in place. We agreed that this was something that we needed to improve on and so they decided to do some more deep dives in the curriculum – PE, art, science and ICT were then looked into. As the curriculum was all sound and my staff could all speak about their subjects with enthusiasm – intent of their curriculum, how it was implemented across the school and also what impact they had – this was all key!
SEN was another focus and this was a strength here, with my SENCo completing a learning walk around schoo and being able to discuss children and their needs and show how children were being supported within class.
I carried out Teams meetings regarding safeguarding, the curriculum, single central register, SIP, SEF and PP strategy. We also discussed attendance and what we were doing to ensure good attendance at school. We met about behaviour and well-being.
The second day, I came into school and I was able to go round school with them, be on the playground etc.. They talked to parents before and after school and also children to discuss SMSC, behaviour, well-being…
The governors were invited in and could also discuss leadership of the school, how we had developed the curriculum, how they questioned me and asked about school improvement. They spoke with a representative from the local authority.
They continued to ask probing questions throughout the second day to ensure they had evidence for all of the hand book. We then sat down and went through the handbook and they discussed each point and whether they had evidence to say we were a good school for each point.
At the end of the second day, we invited governors in for feedback and I was allowed to have the leadership team there too. The feedback was all positive apart from phonics, but we got a good judgement. We were not allowed to tell staff anything until the report was published.
After 2 days of inspection the report that came out was a summary and very short, which upset some members of staff who felt that their hard work was not reported on.
That was our experience, hope it helps someone else!
Think Piece: Winging it and Flying!
Winging it and Flying!
When I recently reached three years of headship and received a ‘Linked In - Congratulations on your Work Anniversary’ message, I couldn’t help but reflect on whether I’m celebrating or just plain holding it together. What on earth have the last three years been all about?
Despite previous leadership experience, I was totally and completely naive to the realities of headship. Throw in a pandemic and I can truly say much of the last three years have been spent winging it!
I’m not one to hold on to negative experiences in life and like to look for the positive and opportunities in everything, so whilst I admit to winging it a lot of the time, I have learnt so much and prefer to see that the times of ‘winging it’ have actually given me wings to fly.
I summarise here my three greatest challenges, the opportunities they created and the key to successfully flying!
Challenge 1 - People
All of them: governors, staff, parents and pupils - relationships matter to me and because they matter, they have been one of my greatest challenges. How can you possibly get it right for everyone all the time? The demands on a headteacher to show up, be caring, interested and supportive for everyone feels nearly impossible. How do you learn to fly when everyone needs you for something different? You work with a trusted professional coach. Coaching has helped me develop a self-awareness and increased emotional intelligence to work effectively with others, taking into account their needs and balancing the needs of different groups and individuals.
Challenge 2 - Crisis management
Yes I do mean the pandemic and all the challenges it still continues to throw at us. How do you learn to fly in a crisis? You reach out. I have various networks of amazing headteachers and leaders in my local cluster of schools, across the local authority and across the nation through HeadsUp4Headteachers. They are like gold dust and offer the greatest medicine of all, connection, understanding and laughter.
Challenge 3 - My own resilience
I have had to dig deep many times, to the very bottom of who I am and who I want to be, to find the grit, determination and resilience to fight my way through the stress and tears of frustration to get up, again and again to face another uncertain day with a smile of my face and put others needs before my own needs. This takes its toll. So how do you learn to fly when the world is in chaos and you want to crawl back into bed and hide? You invest in self care and prioritise your own wellbeing. It is not an indulgence; it is a necessary skill of being an effective leader. You truly cannot give to others if your own reserves are depleted. Dance, run, sing, read, cook, knit… something different for everyone, but do it and do it for you!
When I write that I am ‘flying’, please don’t take this to mean that I have it all sussed and am doing a great job. I am doing the best job that I can. My direction of flight is often off track from the right pathway, I get it wrong, that’s for sure! Like I say and it is worth saying again; I am doing the best job that I can. Some may call that winging it, for me, I am flying!
Case Study: Was it something I didn’t say?
Was it something I didn’t say?
As an experienced Head with two schools under my belt, one of which I took from special measures to Good in a relatively short period of time, I was ready for a change. I was approaching 50 and reassessing my working future and felt I either had to stay where I was until I was ready to be put outto pasture or have one more move. So, I took the plunge and applied for a new position. The school I applied for was inner city with all the challenges that come with that. The previous inspection report led me to believe that there was a good team in place and despite the rock bottom outcomes for children, it looked like it just needed some fresh eyes and some tweaking to improve. I thoroughly enjoyed the interview process and honestly felt for the first time in my career that I genuinely had the answers, no blagging, no flannel. Leaving my previous position wasn’t easy, I had built up a great team and a good reputation, but I was excited by the challenge ahead and keen to bring what I had learned to a new post.
Within days in my new role, I knew that the challenge ahead was considerably more than just a tweak. With little infrastructure in place, few policies, a crumbling building and a staff who really didn’t want a new Head, it was always going to be tough. The results from the summer were the worst in the authority and by October, we had a letter from the RSC telling us we were a ‘Coasting School’ and I needed to tell them why we were and what we were going to do about it. This came as a massive shock to the senior leaders and Governors - the inspection just 18 months before had told them they were a good school with outstanding leadership. The evidence was that the school was far from this judgement. With little to no admin support, a senior leadership team in shock and a staff that didn’t want any change, I set about trying to win hearts and minds, after all, we all wanted the same thing, the very best for the children in our care.
It was in this context that I was then faced with trying to build a leadership team who had the confidence to tackle underperformance. I joined forces with other local schools inan alliance where we agreed to be each other’s critical friend. It was good to have feedback from another very experienced local Head who said that she could see the big changes and improvements that we/I had made. However, the report from afull Teaching and Learning Review with the senior school improvement advisor and an Inspector stated that we had a long way to go to ensure the school was no longer deemed to be ‘at risk’.
Tragically, at the beginning of the summer term, a parent was murdered and subsequently two other parents were arrested and then convicted of the murder. Dealing with the fallout of this tragic event was all consuming from managing the grief of the children, staff and community to protecting the school from the media to safeguarding the children in the families of the victim and the perpetrator. Looking back, I now see that I underestimated the impact this had on me. I made sure staff had access to the crisis team and got emotional support, but I didn’t access any myself. Even when I then had to go through a domestic homicide review, I didn’t access the support, I was too busy making sure everyone else did.
Throughout this time, I had several periods of significant illness, enough to end up in hospital twice that year. This should have been a warning. My family certainly took it as one, but I just felt that giving the job my all was what had to be done to get the school where I hoped and prayed it could be.
Over the next year, we took on some interesting projects. What followed was what felt like a good year, one of team building in my own school and learning from another school.
We started the next academic year with some new staff and some changes in approach and it was at this point that we reached what would be described by Tuckman in the phases of team development as the ‘Storming stage’. I wouldn’t expect anything else in the stages of managing change, other than it had taken a bit longer for us to get to this point than I would have expected.
However, I began to feel weighed down by the increasing pressure of the many day to day occurrences; parental complaints to Ofsted, staff complaints about each other, staff complaints about decisions made by the senior team, and a small group of very challenging pupils who were having a big impact on the day to day running of the school. The building was crumbling around us, the roof was leaking in many places (including my office) and the hall regularly flooded. Not forgetting that we had to demonstrate significant improvements in outcomes for children.
I knew at this point that I really needed help. The HR team that I had been working with were really supportive but there were so many issues that I started to feel utterly swamped. It was like a relentless wave of daily challenges, on top of the day job of running a fairly large organisation.
I did start talking to people. I was very open and honest with my new school improvement advisor (who had been appointed for a term). I was very honest with my SLT. And their response was that I was doing a good job. I responded to an email abut booking a free session with a coach for Head Teachers but missed the appointment because I was dealing with something.
And then we were inspected. A new framework was about to be implemented and we seemed to be being inspected with a hybrid of the old and new. One of the inspectors even said to me, “what a shame, we’ve come a year too early”. I had been the Head for two years and two terms. I was experienced enough to know that the school still had a lot to do but there were green shoots of improvement – which the inspectors agreed that they could see. But apparently it wasn’t enough and not quickly enough. This was the point that I reflected on many times after the judgement. Was there something I didn’t say that I should have? Would it have made any difference?
What followed were the hardest few months of my professional life. I had support from my MP and entered into correspondence with the Minister of State at the DfE. I prepared pages and pages of information for Governors, parents, staff and the local authority. This was cold comfort when the judgement remained the same. It was soul destroying to repeatedly have to acknowledge that the report said my leadership was inadequate. The stress of this is immense. I ended up physically ill again, shingles, heart palpitations and severe anxiety.
By the end of October, I knew the fight was pretty much over. An academy order had been issued and the RSC were discussing what was going to happen next.
One lunchtime, I went into my school business managers office, and she made a kind remark about what a good personI was to work for and I started crying and didn’t stop for many hours. Such was the level of my distress, I frightened myself and my family.
This is when my timeline gets a bit muddled. I now know I was weeks, if not days away from total burn out and break down. I was fortunate to have amazing support from my GPand I was signed off the next few months. I researched schools who had been in similar situations to see what action they had taken and then stumbled upon James Pope and the HeadsUp organisation. There were so many parts of his narrative that resonated with me. I wish I had contacted him then, but I didn’t.
I went back to work far too early, but I really wanted to be in school for the due diligence meetings with the incoming academy group.
And then there was Covid. I spent the next two terms managing the crisis that unfolded with staff bubbles, school open for the vulnerable children throughout the holidays and days and days of delivering food to our families in need of support.
As we started to get children back into school, involvement from outside started to increase. I found myself feeling like I was taking part in a very long interview. Every meeting I went to, every document I prepared, I felt I was being assessed as to how well I could perform. I have read other people’s accounts of how it feels to be gaslighted and I recognise those feelings. The daily questioning of yourself and in response to suggestions and instructions for school improvement, I just wanted to say, “Don’t you think I’ve tried that” or “Don’t’ you think I’m doing that”.
The next part of my journey can’t be shared other than to say, by the beginning of the next academic year, I was no longer the Head.
It was then that I contacted James through the form on the website. I had a rapid response offering me a confidential conversation. I poured my heart out to him, and between sobbing and trying to put words together that made sense, I had the opportunity to share my story and for him to share his… there is always someone else who’s had it worse!Through his empathy and coaching I began to see that there was nothing I could have done or said differently at the timethat would have changed what happened. It was a set of circumstances that came together that led to a result over which I had no control. He also helped me to realise that it wasn’t my personal failings or ‘inadequacy’ that led to the judgement. Sadly, it also appears that my story is not uncommon. All of this helped me to get on the road to recovery.
I often wonder what would have happened if I had been able to access support from people like James and the HeadsUpteam when things first started to unravel. On reflection, it might not have changed the series of events but I am in no doubt it would have helped me to respond to the situations differently and also help to prevent me from becoming so personally scarred.
There is a happy ending to all this. Despite the immense sadness of making the decision not to return to being a Head, I’m glad to say that again, through coaching, I haverecognised that there are many transferable skills that lead to a life after Headship, but perhaps more about that another time.
Physical and Mental Health: Work-life balance after the pandemic
Finding a work-life balance after the pandemic
Ok, so the pandemic isn’t over but during the various lockdowns and stages of it, there was time for me to reflect and reset some ways in which I work as a school leader. What do I value most in my life and how can I get the balance of work and home right?
I have always been a keen gardener, but the mini heatwave of April and May 2020 meant I spent even more time in the garden because I wasn’t in school until 6pm each day (and yes, I was in school during lockdown like most teachers because schools were not shut, we had key worker and vulnerable children in!). I have always found the outdoors a great distraction from other issues that might be going on around me and massively helps my wellbeing. With gardening, you focus on the job in hand be it sowing seeds or mowing the lawn. But that first lockdown meant there was hardly anything you could do as we were instructed to stay home and I was extremely grateful to have a garden. I honestly do not know what I would have done without one.The garden is my sanctuary to get away from it all. So now that there is some return to normality what now? Well I still try and get home whilst it is light in the months that allow it in order to spend even just half an hour in the garden pottering about. I do not take any physical work home with me as I learnt long ago that when I did this I just couldn’t be bothered or was too tired so what was the point? Family and health come first. Always. School should not be your entire world and I won’t let my school life define the other aspects of my life. One thing that helps is having no other friends or family members who works in education! I don’t talk shop outside of school as no one else really gets my job, just like I don’t really get theirs. This actually helps me a lot to switch off and concentrate on other things and not always be thinking about school. If I want to engage in this conversation then I go to Twitter but this comes with a warning. I often have my wife telling me to get off of it as I can get into a scrolling frenzy and spend ages on their just reading educational threads, some of which are interesting and useful, but some are not conducive to good wellbeing. It is easy to be gas lighted or incensed with a chain of tweets. It is important to keep reminding myself that Twitter is not real life and loads of teachers are not on Twitter. It can be too polarised at timeswith quite a bit of SLT bashing. So a Twitter break is often the way forward. The block and mute functions are also essential!
Alongside all of this, I moved schools in September 2020 having secured a Head of School role in February 2020, right before the pandemic struck with an almighty bang! This was tough in itself to change schools at such an uncertain time. Itdid have some benefits. I was able to take more time to get to know school policies and staff whilst al lot of the hustle and bustle of school life and strategic thinking was put on hold as we stuck to our bubbles. But it was hard. You can’t do a lot of things you would want to do in the early stages of a new leadership job. Things like face-to-face assemblies to make your mark and having parents in school or events to build those relationships. These all led to times of imposter syndrome or frustration but I am fairly patient which helped. I also moved to a school closer (much closer!) to home. This of course means it is now even easier to get home in time for a spot of gardening! Moving forwards, I want to make more of some weekday evenings, perhaps going out for a meal or the cinema to help break up the week. I truly believe the school I help lead and all other schools need leaders who are refreshed and on an even-keel with their wellbeing. Otherwise the whole school will suffer due to poor decision making or inconsistent moods that help know one.
Leading through a pandemic has been exhausting. Emotionally more than anything else. It is the weight of being responsible for the whole school community who look to you for answers and direction in what was and still is (at the time of writing) an uncertain time. For many of us in education, this has taken its toll. So now I just hope the wider powers that be can shift towards making staff wellbeing, and especially that of school leaders, even more of a priority. This is still severely lacking with leaders often having to fend for themselves with no one looking out for them on a regular basis alongside what I view as a toxic level of accountability coupled with cuts to other sectors that now make schools a one-stop-shop for community support. Until things change, I shall keep on gardening and keep on leading but family and health come first. Always.
Alex Baptie
Head of School
East Sussex
Physical and Mental Wellbeing: I even tried hypnosis to cope with stress
When asked about my job, I sometimes describe being a headteacher as similar to being in an emotionally abusive relationship. I read a definition once, which described it as ‘a consistent pattern of abusive words and bullying behaviour that wear down a person’s self-esteem and undermine their mental health.’ And without diminishing the terrible experiences of people who have been in emotionally abusive relationships, I can’t help but find a correlation between the cycle of emotional abuse and the cycle of experiences I have working in education.
Some days I feel like I can handle it, and on others I feel completely crushed. No one in teaching needs me to tell them that being a headteacher isn’t easy. The past two years have added another dimension of difficulty to an already tricky job. The chances I used to have to refill my resilience-cup have dwindled and so, all it takes at the moment to make me spill over in despair is one more complaint from *that* parent, one snide comment from someone about how little teachers work, or one more child or family remaining un-helped by Social Services, CAMHS or one of the other over-burdened support systems out there.
There are delightful bits, of course there are, my passion for pedagogy and bearing witness to a child’s development are the bright spots in my working day. I enjoy assemblies, hearing children sing, chatting to the children in class and on the playground, reading stories and just having the chance to love the little people for who they are. Sadly, this is being buried in the putrid swamp of outside pressure and lack of funding. New curriculum, over-testing, new inspection frameworks, less funding, less support, less resourcing. At times it feels overwhelming.
I never would have described myself as a political animal, but the current situation has certainly forced me to be more aware and to speak up against the injustices being done to school staff, school budgets and the families and communities we serve. But, it is hard to stand against the continued media barrage against teachers, the head of Ofsted criticising us for helping children and families eat when no one else would, and the endless and ridiculous amount of information that is shovelled at us by the DfE.
My job as headteacher is to be a protective umbrella over my school, taking care of the bigger picture so my teachers can teach, my teaching assistants can assist, my children can learn and my families can flourish. In my 12 years as a head, I have faced tough times, deficit budgets, bonkers parents and challenging children. I have had death threats levelled at me and I have had a mentally ill parent actively try to strangle me (I was saved by a wonderful teaching assistant who held a door shut with her bodyweight so I could escape and call the police). I have had parents formally complain to the Local Authority about me for ridiculous reasons. I have had so many Ofsted inspections (including one from an inspector who brought a pink silk corset with honest-to-god nipple tassels on it into my school in her briefcase!) from which I have learned nothing about my duty to school, although I did learn a great deal about my capacity to cope with stress and keep a straight face!
I coped with all these things. I cried sometimes, I comfort ate my way through barrel-loads of junk food sometimes, I ran miles and miles, I composed and deleted my resignation letter, I even tried hypnosis to cope with the stresses. The thing is, these tough times would pass and I would have a chance to recognise the joy in my job, find my equilibrium and come back stronger and more positive.
Lately, however, it feels like there is no let up between the punches- I’m not able to fight back, I have no recovery time between blows… I feel like I’m being bludgeoned into a paste. I have put on weight, I hardly sleep, when I do sleep I grind my teeth so badly that I shattered a molar, I don’t exercise, I cry in my car on the way home but I can’t seem to explain exactly what it is that has tipped me over the edge. I feel like I shouldn’t feel like this. I have a job, a home, a family. I have so much to be grateful for, and so much that brings me joy. My staff are wonderful. They are amazingly supportive, genuinely good people. They try so hard and do their work magnificently. My governors are great and do so much to help me. They ask me how I am and how they can help me. They are the spokes in my umbrella, keeping me up and open over my school but my fabric is being torn to shreds.
I would love to do something else- at times I wish I could do anything else- but I am so worn down and burned out that I believe it when I think there is nothing else I know how to do. I’m trapped in this relationship, waiting for the good times that seem to be fewer and further apart.